A Ranma 1/2 Play
by AnubisFearie
Summary: Ranma and company put on a play diretcted by your's truly! A silly little thingy in script format! *TAKE 2 IS UP! ^_^
1. Take 1

A Ranma 1/2 Play  
  
By: Anubis Fearie  
  
Cast  
  
Character: Played By:  
  
Ranma Saotome ...................................................................... Ryoga Hibiki  
  
Ryoga Hibiki .......................................................................... Mousse  
  
Shampoo ............................................................................ ...... Akane Tendo  
  
Ukyo Kounji ............................................................................ Shampoo  
  
Akane Tendo ........................................................................... Ranma Saotome  
  
Mousse ............................................................................ .......... Happosai  
  
Happosai ............................................................................ ....... Ukyo Kounji  
  
Directer ............................................................................ ....... Jenni (AnubisFearie)  
  
==========================================================================  
  
Ranma: Fidgets around in female Furinkan High uniform Can't I at LEAST play Akane as a GIRL? This is embarressing!  
  
Jenni: Look, now how could you look like Akane with red hair? I can't afford a wig, okay?  
  
Mousse: Finishes tying bandana Oh Shampoo! We should have a big love scene!  
  
Akane: Adjusts Chinese style puffy pants Hey! I'm not really Shampoo, you idiot!  
  
Ryoga: Glares at his clip-on-pigtail How come I get the worst part?!  
  
Ranma: Smacks Ryoga Excuse me?!  
  
Ukyo: Growls and kicks bag of panties Damn it, why can't I just play myself?!  
  
Happosai: I wanted to be cast as a GIRL and get to wear a BRA! Crosses arms and holds on glasses  
  
Jenni: Quit complaining! Everybody take your places! We're on in three... two...  
  
::Curtain rises...::  
  
Ryoga: Walks onto stage I am Ranma Saotome, a big dumb idiot!  
  
Ranma: Stomps up to Ryoga Don't make me kick your ASS!  
  
Jenni: Whispers loudly STICK TO THE SCRIPT!  
  
Ryoga: Sighs Come on, Akane... Roughly snags Ranma's arm We have to get to school.  
  
Ranma: Don't touch me! Hits Ryoga with giant mallet  
  
Akane: You're making me look bad! That wasn't in the script!  
  
Jenni: Yes it was. Cue Shampoo... and remember, Akane, talk ditzy!  
  
Akane: Sighs, latches onto Ryoga Nihao, Ranma! I Shampoo, big dumb bimbo!  
  
Ryoga: Blushes Ehehe..... Nearly passes out  
  
Shampoo: Knocks Akane off Ryoga Stupid girl! I no is bimbo! Remembers play I is Ukyo! Hugs Ranma Ranma!  
  
Ranma: No, stupid! I'm playing Akane! Ryoga's me!  
  
Ukyo: Hurls bag of panties at Shampoo Uhhh... I'm Happosai and on behalf of... myself... get off of MY fiancee`!  
  
Happosai: Dashes onto stage and rolls in panties Woohoo!  
  
Mousse: Smacks Happosai with umbrella You're making me look bad, you pervert! Remembers audience Ummmm... Waves to backdrop I'm Ryoga!  
  
Shampoo: Blind as bat...  
  
Ranma: Scratches head Does anybody even know their lines?  
  
Everyone: Shakes head  
  
Ranma: Shrugs and smiles evilly at Akane Look at me! I'm Akane Tendo, a violent, dorky, sexless, tomboyish, brick with the IQ of a jellyfish!  
  
Akane: Growls, yells in Shampoo-lingo RANMA IS JERK!!!!!! Swings bonbori angerly at Ranma  
  
Ranma: Dodges  
  
Ryoga: Slams Ranma How DARE you say that about Akane?!  
  
Ukyo: This play sucks...  
  
Happosai: Rubs on Shampoo's chest  
  
Shampoo: AIYAA!!!!  
  
Audience: Mumbles  
  
Jenni: STOP IT! YOU'RE SCREWING IT UP!!!!  
  
Mousse: To be or not to be? That is the question!  
  
Ryoga: Is that really a question?  
  
Ranma: Only you wouldn't know, pig.  
  
Ryoga: HEY! Whacks Ranma  
  
Ranma: In Akane's voice Oh Ryoga! And I thought you loved me! Giggles  
  
Ryoga: PREPARE TO DIE! Kicks Ranma into audience  
  
Audience: Ranma fans tear at Ranma's clothes and squeel happily  
  
Ranma: Runs onto stage in boxers THAT WASN'T VERY NICE! Drops the elbow on Ryoga  
  
Happosai: Grins and splashes Ranma Whoa, baby! No shirt! WOOHOO!  
  
Onna-Ranma: GAAA!!! Drop kicks Happosai  
  
Ukyo: Laughs Ranma Honey, you're high-beaming!  
  
Onna-Ranma: Covers breasts with arms and growls  
  
Ryoga: Passes out from sight of boobies  
  
Mousse: Who am I again?  
  
Shampoo: You Ryoga, stupid!  
  
Mousse: Does Ryoga get to marry Shampoo?  
  
Akane: No, you idiot! Didn't you read the script?!  
  
Mousse: I forgot my glasses and....  
  
Onna-Ranma: I NEED A SHIRT!!!!  
  
Men in Audience: NO YOU DON'T!  
  
Jenni: Tosses T-Shirt to Onna-Ranma  
  
Onna-Ranma: Slips it on and mumbles  
  
Ukyo: Romeo, Romeo, where the hell art thou, Romeo?  
  
Jenni: WRONG PLAY, DAMN YOU!  
  
Ukyo: Oh...  
  
Happosai: Pan.... ties..... Rolls in glee  
  
Ryoga: Wakes up I... had the weirdest dream. Points to Onna-Ranma And you were there... Points to Akane ... and you were there... Goes on pointing to everyone  
  
Onna-Ranma: Idiot...  
  
Jenni: Runs onto stage with mega-phone THE END!!!!! Yanks curtain shut  
  
Onna-Ranma: Jenni, I really think you should've wrote a better script. That play stunk.  
  
Jenni: YOU DIDN'T EVEN READ MY SCRIPT!  
  
Everyone: ....... there was a script.....?  
  
Jenni: Stomps off  
  
The End! 


	2. Take 2

A Ranma 1/2 Play: Take Two  
  
By: AnubisFearie  
  
==========================================================================  
  
Jenni: Okay, you guys! This time I've got help. This is my friend, Katie. Say hi!  
  
Katie: Waves and gives Ryoga google eyes Hiiiii! ^-^  
  
Cast: Waves; Ryoga looks confused  
  
Jenni: Now, this time you all get to play yourselves, okay? Will that make you happy?  
  
Ranma: Actually, I'd be happier in pirahna infested waters wrapped in meatloaf.  
  
Akane: *WHAM* Hits Ranma on head with mallet That's not very nice!  
  
Katie: Now, I trust you all read the scripts...?  
  
Cast: Yeah....  
  
Jenni: Good! Now, Ranma and Akane, take your places!  
  
Katie: We're on in three... two...  
  
::Curtain rises::  
  
Akane: *aHEM* Come on Ranma, we'll be late for school!  
  
::Long silent pause::  
  
Akane: Ranma...?  
  
Katie: Where the hell is Ranma?  
  
Jenni: Taps Ranma's shoulder  
  
Ranma: Stops eating buffet Yeah?  
  
Jenni: You're on!!!  
  
Ranma: Oh! Dashes onto stage, trips and falls on top of Akane  
  
Akane: Ranma, you idiot! Get off me!  
  
Ryoga: Runs onto stage and kicks Ranma into wall You fiend! How dare you do that to Akane?!  
  
Ranma: Sits up Do what? I just fell, you jackass!  
  
Shampoo: Runs up to Ryoga and whacks him How dares you do to Shampoo husband?!  
  
Ukyo: Runs onto stage Excuse me! Ranma is MINE you damn bath product!  
  
Shampoo: No, is MINE!  
  
Jenni: The script! The script! Stick to the script!  
  
Katie: Maybe we should've made Ryoga wear a thong.  
  
Jenni: Oooo and Ranma, too!  
  
Katie: I should've been the costume designer!  
  
Ranma: Watches fight, taps Akane's shoulder  
  
Akane: What do you want?!  
  
Ranma: Can we just go home?  
  
Akane: Sighs I don't think so...  
  
Happosai: Hello, ladies! Rubs on Shampoo's chest  
  
Shampoo: EEEIIIIII!!!!!  
  
Mousse: Punches Happosai You dare to treat my beloved Shampoo that way?!  
  
Shampoo: What you talking, stupid Mousse? Shampoo no belong you. Belong only Ranma!  
  
Ukyo: Hey, shut up! Ranma Honey loves me!  
  
Shampoo: No, loves me!  
  
Ukyo: No, me!  
  
Shampoo: No, me!  
  
Jenni: Runs onto stage No, me! Hiccups and rubs on Ranma  
  
Ranma: Uhhhhh... are you drunk?  
  
Jenni: Purple monkey dishwasher?  
  
Katie: Stumbles up to Ryoga and hiccups I love you, P-Chan. Hugs his legs  
  
Ryoga: Who're you calling P-Chan?!  
  
Akane: I think she's drunk, too....  
  
Happosai: This play stinks. Where are the naked women? Where are the panties?  
  
Jenni: Hiccups Duh... I'm wearing 'em Hic silly neener-head.  
  
Katie: Nu-uh! Ryoga, Jenni said I was a hic happy poo! Beat... hic her up!  
  
Ryoga: ...........  
  
Ranma: Watches as Jenni climbs onto his shoulders Uhhhhhhmm.....  
  
Ukyo: Hey! How dare you touch my Ranma!  
  
Jenni: Hic Geeheehee.......  
  
Katie: What's this little tassle hic thingy do? Pulls cord; curtains close  
  
Jenni: WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The monkeys! They steal my underwear at night! Hic  
  
Mousse: Adjusts glasses No, that would probably be Happosai.  
  
Katie: Dum dee dee. Ryoga, will you marry me....? Hic  
  
Ryoga: Blushes as she rubs on him N-n-n-n-nooo......  
  
Jenni: Ranma, marry me or I'll hic uhhhhh..... heehee Passes out  
  
Akane: .........................  
  
Ranma: She's drooling on my shirt....... 


End file.
